Crying It Out...

It's been rough for the last month at our house. About a month ago the babies got RSV. Some of the scariest shit I have ever been through. Nebs every 3-4 hours, round the clock, constant coughing and wheezing and for sure no one was sleeping. I was terrified.

But that was a month ago and still no one is back to sleeping the way they were prior to catching the plague. So. At the boys last pedi appointment I talked to Dr. Husain (whom I'm in love with) and told her that I have been getting up, on average, 5-6 times per night to tend to the babies that WILL. NOT. SLEEP. She told me I needed to let them cry it out. Oh the dreaded CIO. I knew this was coming but I didn't want to have to do it. I tried that for months with Liam, when he was little, but I had waited too long. The damage, I mean habit, had already been done. He would stand in his crib at night screaming "mama! mama! help me! please help me!" It broke my heart. He would do this, and I shit you not, for 2-3 hours at a crack until I finally broke down. Then I would be so angry at myself because basically I listened to him cry frantically for 2-3 hours for NOTHING! So with the babies I vowed it would be different. I was going to do this CIO thing before they could say my name (it makes me feel less guilty). So Eli is getting to be a champ. He'll cry for 5-10 minutes and then settle down. But then there's Abe. He cried for over 1/2 hour. I know, I know. It's not the 2-3 hours, but it still sucks! He screamed and screamed and screamed and I pictured him being terrified, all alone, in the dark needing me. Then it was quite. I panicked. I really did! I had to sneak in and look at him. There he was...laying there perfectly still. Of course I had to check to see if he was still breathing. He stirred a little, but he was fine. My heart was still broken, but I knew that we could do this.

So Eli woke up this a.m. and he was happy! So happy! And he slept until 6:30 a.m. IN HIS OWN BED! Then I rushed in to find Abe cooing in his bed. It melted my heart because I was sure he would be traumatized, but he wasn't. He was happy too! So here we go. Tonight is night number 3. Hopefully mama will be able to stay strong...keep your fingers crossed and send your prayers to Heaven...